October 10, 2022 - “Hanging in between the abyss of summer and fall”

Outside there’s sun and inside the building is shaking as a semi-truck rumbles by, its driver laying on the horn. I’m sitting inside a coffee shop and everything is heavy right now: the way the barista calls out drink orders, her voice like nails on a chalkboard; the hiss of the espresso machine; the whirring of a blender; the phone ringing and ringing; the thud and slam of the refrigerator door: closing and closing and closing. Some machine back there is still singing and the sound of coffee beans being poured into a grinder feels like ten thousand pokes into my side. Is it this place or is it me. I’ve been here before but never like this: lost in a blended nightmare-dream / hanging between the abyss of summer and fall.